Spiritual Testing

This is a super important topic for all those who are sick, have been sick, or feel challenges arising in their lives. I am one of those people.

I used to be under the illusion that I knew when I was succeeding in my spiritual journey because my life would be smooth, easy, and all good things would just come to me. All the negativity and challenges would fade. I have come to realize it is the opposite. In fact Master Sha shares with us that his teacher used to tell him, “The spiritual path is a cruel path.” This is because of spiritual testing which exists to purify us.

You might recall from my blog entitled, “The Answer to the Question Did Theo Die” when I went to India I asked the saint AMMA (Bangaru Adigalar) to be purified, and that is when my life really turned upside down. I did get purified and continue to. As such, every dark corner of my mind, body, and soul is being flushed out. This means my reality is being turned upside down so that I may be blessed with, and walk in, grace.

Understanding this has been a God-Send for me. For I previously thought I was doing something wrong. Knowing about Spiritual testing is liberating. It shows me that I am indeed being taken seriously by the Divine for there is no real growth without it. How else is the Divine suppose to know when I am ready for real spiritual power and knowledge unless I am tested? After all, I know I do not want to abuse power and knowledge. The higher I go in spiritual standing, the farther I have to fall. And I have fallen. And it is NOT pleasant! So I want the testing to make sure I can handle the new spiritual responsibilities.

So, if Spiritual Testing is so uncomfortable, even painful, why invite it into my life? The answer is simple. The greater the test, the greater the reward. For example, in my blog Miraculous India I was tested before meeting AMMA at his temple in India. After passing the test, I experienced a heart opening that was nothing less than a miracle itself. I have been equally tested in my studies with Master Sha.

For example: Leaving to go to the Soul Enlightenment retreat last month my flight was bumped five times while I had a Migraine headache. After spending all day in the airport with a migraine I eventually had to buy a ticket to Phoenix, then to Chicago, to then catch my flight out to Canada for the retreat. I did not take any medication for my Migraine either to remain as pure as I could for the retreat. My mind really wanted to give up, but I didn’t, and I saw why once I arrived at the retreat. I grew more in two weeks then I had in the last year and I have not had a migraine since.

At the retreat I went through three more major tests. The first two were belief systems that I was just convinced were…they way life was. With the help of Master Sha and Delphi Amritam, I eventually saw the light, confronted my fear, and came out on the other side. I saw my Soul double in size before my eyes, Master Sha gave us all Soul Enlightenment, and more! What Master Sha offers us is truly beyond my imagination, I did not really get that until I spent some time with him and saw it with my own eyes. I am not the same person that left for the retreat. A freedom was bestowed upon me that I have no words for. I have such immense gratitude and appreciation for him. What I also love about Master Sha’s teaching is that he is giving us, his students, the tools and knowledge to pass this Spiritual testing so we can move forward quickly in our purifying. I have tears in my eyes with amazement and gratitude for this.

Our minds simply cannot comprehend the depth of the Divine. This is why it takes Faith in a Master to guide us into the unknown. Faith is NOT choosing to believe an idea that sounds good….that is delusion. Faith is choosing to believe in reality beyond the minds comprehension. Enlightenment is functioning from the spiritual reality, from the soul, with the mind following the soul’s direction. Or as Andrew Cohen used to say, enlightenment is living by intuition alone.

The way to this enlightenment is by passing spiritual testing! So bring ‘em on!

Soul Song Soul Music

I had the blessed experience of playing music with Master Sha recently. He sang Soul Song and I played the flute accompanying him. Both of us were freely improvising with no form. Master Sha downloads his music directly from the divine. Needless to say the experience was nothing short of exquisite, amazing, enlightening and terrifying all at the same time.

When Master Sha sings Soul Song his mind is gone. He is operating directly as a channel of the Divine. When I accompanied him I too stepped into this channel and flowed with him. This was a divine experience. The terrifying part was having so much light shine upon my ego. So while my Soul was in bliss and my mind was gone my ego shot out in the form of self-consciousness and worry about my performance. Master Sha’s attention was ONLY on flowing the music through, and on the creative process when we weren’t playing. Intonation, missed notes, etc were not a concern for him. That stuff just got ironed out in the process. After all, mistakes are just how we learn. Right!?! I know it is. But in the moment I needed to keep reminding myself of this truth.

So when my unworthiness shot up my ego decided to try and impress him with a jazz interpretation of the music we were playing. He was fine with this and listened, but it didn’t impact him in any way. That’s when I realized what was happening. I was no longer flowing and connecting beyond my mind in the music. I was just playing to be impressive. Which to a Master who only cares about connecting to, and serving, the Divine, that kind of playing is totally unimpressive….no matter how impressive it is.

So I was once again humbled and profoundly reminded that the point of the music is NOT to sound impressive. It is NOT to be unique. It is to let the music flow through uninhibited by ME. Doing so requires a huge surrender and letting go of control. The challenge I had was letting my mind get in the way inbetween actually playing…which just made it harder when I did play. So I figure I am a work in progress…accepting that should help with my perfectionism…right!?!? Ha ha

I once saw a giant poster that said: The only thing standing between you and enlightenment….is YOU! This is so true for music too!

Note: If interested, Master Sha’s book Soul Wisdom which includes Soul Song and gives instructions on these concepts can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/Soul-Wisdom-Practical-Treasures-Transform/dp/1416588930/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215112449&sr=8-1

(Enlightened) Soul Music

As a teenager Miles Davis’s album Kind of Blue and Sonny Rollin’s album Saxophone Colossus inspired me to no end. Every note seemed perfect. Every phrase seemed like grace. I call this kind of music Enlightened Music or No Mind Music. My life has been the pursuit of playing in this way. Even my major in college was Musical Improvisation as a Spiritual Path.

A friend of mine recently wrote me:

“I have to tell you that I had a pretty wonderful experience on Sunday night playing with my Kali.  It was one of those magical times where everything just felt right and my tone and how the mouthpiece felt was totally inspiring me.  I played better than I felt like I’ve played in a long time and just had one of those transcending experiences where the sum of the music that you make is more than its parts.  Very fun and very spiritual for me.”

This is the experience of Enlightened Music! In my years of meditation and musical study I have learned that the qualities of Enlightened Music are:

Not thinking

No Doubt

No Worry

A sense of rightness, correctness, and perfection happening.

A sense of doing nothing. NO CONTROL!

The music just flows through on its own.

Enlightened Soul Music is when our Souls are in control of the music instead of our minds. This is rather simple in concept but can be rather challenging in practice! It means we can have no expectation, attachments, or ‘good ideas’. The mind is not involved with this process.

I have heard the word Soul tossed around my whole life. It has seemed like a metaphor. Recently through my studies with Master Sha though, my Soul has become as real to me as my own body. Very real! In fact my soul in many ways is MORE real because it will not die in the way my body will!

So what is the Soul? It is the energetic part of us that gives direction from the perspective of unity of all life and the accumulated wisdom of all our experience, including past lives. If you don’t believe in past lives, that is not important. What is important is to know that our Souls are connected to, and operate from, a unity with all existence. This is why operating from the Soul feels ‘in the flow’ and why we feel connected to other musicians and the music. This experience can NOT be had while playing music from the mind or analytically.

Our Souls are constantly giving direction. Many people experience this as intuition, integrity, or knowing. Our minds then either agree or disagree with that direction. When our minds agree there is harmony.

My life is a clear example of both. There was a period of time my mind was totally in service to my Soul. I simply watched myself talk and act, never really knowing WHY I was saying and doing anything often until later. I felt one with all of life and every moment felt like perfection. Magic constantly happened around me. I lived in a state of constant benevolent coincidence.

I then fell from grace when one day I chose to feel unworthy and believe there was something wrong with me. This was when my illness got really bad years ago. I have written prior blogs that talk about this. Living in grace, then loosing it, and now learning to return to grace has been extremely educational. I now have an understanding of the process that I did not previously have.

In a nut shell: Our minds can either agree to follow our Souls direction or they can fight to do things their way. Most people follow their logical mind alone. If it makes logical sense to them then they act. The problem with this is that everyone has a different perspective that makes sense to them. This means everyone is living according to their own truth. This is why wars break out.

Integrity: Living by what we KNOW is right, even if we have no understanding as to why, is following the Soul. This is living in integrity actually. Compassion, love, service, and selflessness are qualities of following the Soul’s direction because the Soul experiences itself one with all other Souls. Loving ourselves becomes the same as loving others. This is why service is so important in life. There is no way to feel free without living in service, for it is the natural state of our Souls.

I used to think this meant I had to do community service every day! This belief is why I fell from grace, because I am far from that goal. All it means is to do what we are already doing from a place of service. When playing music, do it to improve the lives and head space of your audience. Just this intention alone is necessary. This intention will most probably lead to further service, but to start the correct intention is all that is required.

The purpose of my work is to support musicians in playing Enlightened (no mind) Music . This is my service and purpose in life. My goal is to have my products and life inspire in this way. It is when I forget this perspective that I get sick and loose my passion in life. This is now crystal clear to me! So this blog is not only to share what I have been learning, but it is also a reminder to myself! Ha!

Note: I have learned a great deal about what I call Enlightened Music from Master Sha’s teaching of Soul Song. More info can be found in his book Soul Wisdom. I thank Master Sha for deepening my understanding of this music which has been the passion of my life.

Guess who won the latest Survivor?

I just received an email from my brother with the above statement as its subject heading. The email continues:

“I’ve been following probably one of the very best Survivors all season.”

“And guess who won on Sunday?”

“”The show delivered its final surprise at the end, when Parvati won five out of the eight jury members’ votes?”

“PARVATI!!!!!!!!”

“At the exact time we are releasing our new PARVATI model.”

“OMG, is that crazy or what!?”

Oneness never ceases to amaze me! With the miracle of my direct involvement with Kali in India the day we released the KALI mouthpiece, and now this ‘coincidence’ with Parvati on Survivor…I think the Divine Mother is listening in!

You can check out our new PARVATI tenor mouthpieces here: http://www.theowanne.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=21&osCsid=94

 

Gratitude and Dr. Sha

We are all aware of the horrible catastrophes happening on the earth right now. The flip-side of that coin is there are also huge blessings being given to us as well. There are gifts being offered to us, such as the teachings of Dr. Sha and other Masters that are truly rare in the history of our planet. I, for one, am profoundly grateful for these gifts!

My teacher Delphi Amritam introduced me to a Chinese Master named Dr. Sha. He and his teacher are responsible for containing the Sars epidemic in China. They are Master healers in both Chinese medicine and Western Medicine. In fact, Dr. Sha is also a Western MD. Because of his incredible service to the world Dr. Sha was given many gifts to help in his work by the Divine. He teaches Soul medicine. “Heal the Soul first, then the mind and body will follow,” is his motto. He teaches profound respect for all souls, and he teaches that EVERYTHING has a soul. More information on him can be found at: www.drsha.com, and a great movie about his work can be seen at: http://www.soulmastersmovie.com/

I have experienced a profound connection to the purity of the Divine with him that I was previously unaware of. This purity has a peace in it that makes the bliss I was previously addicted to seem painful. Really! There really are no words to describe it, but I have changed since meeting him and studying with him.

The group I have studied with for over 15 years in Boulder CO is now caretaking a divine temple initiated by Dr. Sha in Boulder. This temple houses the Divine in a way that I simply cannot put words to, and to be honest am nervous even talking about. I would have had no understanding of what I myself am talking about prior to actually going there. One story of the temple is by my friend Susan:

“I was in an auto accident in August 2007 that left me with ringing in the ears and severe migraine headaches 3 to 5 days a week. I tried a variety of treatments but nothing really helped me. I was struggling to figure out how to support myself and live my life when I could only function half of my days.  When I came to the Divine Healing Temple on March 15^th I asked for a blessing for my head. I started feeling bright, sparkly, high-intensity light energy pouring into the back of my head. Then it felt like it was filling up my whole body, and my whole body was vibrating with it by the time I left. The rest of the day, I felt this pleasant uplifted feeling. Then the weather began to shift and I could feel a migraine coming on. However, it never really happened.
I woke up in the middle of the night with fluid coming out of my ears. At first, I was hesitant to think this meant that my migraines were gone. Even one week without them was such a gift. Now it has been four weeks, and I have not had another migraine. Since that extra fluid trapped in my head was released, I seem cured. It is quite an amazing experience. I feel very grateful to Master Sha for the transformation of Baba’s Barn into the Love Peace Harmony Center.”

The ability to truly appreciate this kind of miracle energy has been a process in my life. After visiting the Pyramids of Egypt in my 20s I started feeling vibrations around my body. Later, through the teachings of Delphi (my teacher in Boulder, CO) I learned how to focus on those vibrations and go into various states of bliss. Though warned, I grew rather attached to feeling the bliss, and got arrogant thinking I was the one creating it.

Later during my illness when all the bliss went away, I rather abruptly learned that the bliss did not belong to me. Rather, I experienced it through open channels to Divine Energy I had un-knowingly opened.

I now know that, that like everything, the Divine likes to be respected and appreciated for its gifts. I now humbly acknowledge that it is the Divine that gives the gift of bliss, peace, and contentment. It is not there for me to falsely own like a thief, but there for me to receive like a present.

All people like to be appreciated. All people deserve to be appreciated. And when appreciated they are more likely to respond in kind. The Divine is no different. The Divine likes to be appreciated and likes to respond in kind. It is a law of the universe. And I thank Dr. Sha for bringing my attention ever more firmly on this truth.

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mother’s Day! To my Mother and all the Mom’s of the world. I honor you and give you my love.

As a child I did not realize the sacrifices you made. You cared for me. Your thoughts were always on what was best for me.

I want to acknowledge your love today. I want to give you my respect and admiration. For you have earned it. You have shown me what it means to care and to love.

Mom, today I acknowledge your love and tell you what you mean to me. Everything! You mean everything to me, and I love you!

Happy Mother’s day Mom! And to all the Mom’s of the world!

Miraculous India

I just returned from India where I was studying with two of my teachers. The trip was miraculous.

In twenty seven years of spiritual study (I started meditating at age 13) I had not yet worked directly with the Kali aspect of the Divine Mother’s energy. I dedicated our new mouthpiece to Kali simply as a sign of respect. Yet at the exact day my brother released the KALI for sale on our website I was introduced directly to the Study of Kali in India. Somehow I find that a bit too exact to be coincidence! Very cool! For more info on our new KALI mouthpiece please visit:
http://www.theowanne.com/products/KaliSpecSheet.pdf

As a child I believed in the type of old testament miracles Jesus did, however, I had never witnessed one. Around the time of my illness the fact that I had not witnessed one started to play in my mind, and I started to doubt such occurrences could exist today. I just couldn’t believe so much pain could be part of the Divine’s master plan. Part of my healing process, however, was the need to regain my faith. I found the only way for my healing to occur was to include all my suffering, and the suffering of others, as part of life’s larger benevolent plan. I chose to belief life really was that big, and that there really was no mistake happening. Now, with faith restored and really no need to see miracles anymore, I have finally witnessed them. Both my teachers performed miracles right in front of me. In fact I am wearing a gold medallion right now that my teacher Amma (Bangaru Adigalar) manifested from thin air right in front of me. So when I say my trip was miraculous, I mean it literally.

The funny thing is that when I saw Amma four years ago while I was really sick I asked him to show me a miracle. He said directly, “No, life is the miracle.” I kind of scoffed at that statement, I think I saw it on a Hallmark Card once, and then actually started to cry out of disappointment!

Before witnessing these miracles though serious testing occurred for me. Even the moments before I went into see Amma my mind and emotions flashed with huge doubt, worry, and fear. I wanted to run away. This is the kind of testing I have come to recognize, for it forced me to recognize and choose my heart over my rational mind. I have come to learn my mind often lies, and really has the ability to justify anything. It is my inner subtle knowing (heart) that has the A+ track record for truth telling. Hence I have found my inner knowing to be more reliable and real than what my mind tells me.

As my faith increases I realize the unseen world is more real than the physical world. The unseen world is the realm of the Divine – intuition, inner knowing, love, peace, contentment, miracles, and magic. Children reside here to a large degree. The seen (physical) world is the realm of solid objects, mind, and emotions. Even though the seen world seems more real to us as adults, it is really governed by huge relativity. Every individual sees life differently; our thinking belongs to us, and us alone.

The less I rely on my mind for answers, but sit in silence and wait for knowledge to be delivered, the better my life works, and the better my answers are. This is very practical to me. I have found meditation to be a far better source of knowledge and guidance than thinking. This is because when in silence I am connecting beyond my mind to life as a whole. So I get answers that are in tune with the whole of life, and guidance way more accurate and pertinent than my thinking mind can comprehend. For example, not long ago I went to bed asking for a good example of this. In the middle of the night I awoke knowing I had to locate my cell phone right way. Instead of ignoring such an odd feeling I got up to look for it. I realized then I hadn’t seen it for over two days and really had no idea where it was. Walking around the house I called my cell phone with the home phone listening for it to ring. Nothing. Then I thought about checking the garage. I walked in the garage stuck my head in my car and heard the cell phone power off. Silence. I heard just enough to know where to look. I found my cell phone under the floor mat in the back seat. If I had waited until morning I would have never found my phone as the battery would have been dead.

Living by intuition first, and facts second the unseen reality becomes more real than the physical, and the experience of life moving in perfection, contentment and peace is had. The truth is we are all living in the unseen world all the time anyway. One might say the big joke is that most of us only believe in the seen world. That is fine, it is just not very fulfilling. I remember the moment I experience myself AS the unseen reality. It was the first time in my life I felt truly whole. Before that I always felt like there was something missing in my life.

I am finally happy to say my life has come full circle:

1. Faith in miracles and saints.
   
2. Doubt in miracles and saints.
   
3. Faith for no reason…just trusting my knowing, and knowing that doubt does not work.
   
4. Proof of miracles and saints. YAY!