Parenting My Child, and Being Parented by Life

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I am the parent of a five year old, and both the oddest, and coolest, thing I have recognized is that the best way for me to raise my child is by making the rules for him, the same as the rules life (the Divine) has set for me.

There are six key points I have learned…so far:

  1. Everything follows energy, not words. If my child is acting up, and I get angry, I cannot expect him to calm down while I am upset. I must hold the space for him to be calm! When I calm down, he follows my energy, and calms down too. Words are not enough. In fact when someone is upset it gets VERY hard to hear what they are trying to say…yet with love, it gets MUCH easier.
  2. My child and I always have choices. I always give my child a choice with no judgment or right and wrong, just non-judgmental consequences. Hence, there is rarely a need for me to get upset with him…I am still working on applying this rule to others in my life though…ha ha.
  3. Every choice has a consequence…not a punishment or reward. Another way of saying this is: Every action has an equal Re-action. There is no such thing as a wrong choice, just one that has undesirable consequences.

    For example, on the days that my child is in charge of cleaning his room, any toys left on the ground are thrown away or given away. If he does not want to clean his room, that is fine, however the consequence is Mom and Dad will clean his room and the toys on the floor are taken away. This is not a threat, it is just the house rule, and there is no negative energy associated with it. This also teaches him to value what he has. He chose not to clean his room once…and once only. Since then he makes the choice himself to clean his room and he values his toys more. When he cleans his room well, it shows he values his toys to us, so he knows he will get more toys too!

There is a consequence for every choice we make in life. It is how this universe works. For example:

  • If we eat unhealthy food, the consequence is we feel sick.
  • If we exercise, the consequence is we feel fit.
  • If we lie, the consequence is people will not trust us.

    For example: In the airport my son has the agreement to stay close and in eyeshot of me. Once he disappeared and lied to me about where he was. Needless to say this was a scary situation. I told him I was sad about that fact that he lied because my job was to keep him safe and if I couldn’t trust him to tell me where he was, he could no longer have the freedom to roam a little and had to stay by my side constantly. He understood because he wanted to be safe and he wanted the freedom to move around more freely. He stopped lying after that and saw the value in telling the truth.

    I have noticed most children rebel against their parents because they are trying to prove they have free will, because they do. My son always has a choice; there are just desirable and undesirable consequences for those choices. So I simply pick consequences that work for me.

For example: A consequence that would NOT work for me is, if my child is acting up in the mall and I say, “unless you start acting nicer you will have to go sit in the car.” Well obviously I am going to have to go sit in the car with him to make sure he is safe, and sitting in the car does not work for me. A consequence that does work for me is to say, “If you want to go to your favorite restaurant for dinner tonight you will have to start acting nicer.” This works for me, because if he keeps acting up we get to go to where I want for dinner. In general my son knows when he is kind he gets what he wants, when he is not kind, he does not get what he wants. I have found the same principle applied to me in my life too.

Another example is eating healthy at dinner. He knows it is my job to make sure he is safe and healthy. Therefore it is my job to be sure he eats healthy things. So if he doesn’t eat his salad he has to drink the green vegetable juice I drink to stay healthy. He hates my green juice, but respects the fact that I drink it to be healthy because I hate the way it tastes too, so he eats his salad. He has grown to even like his salad now, and feels proud of himself for doing something loving for himself that will keep him healthy.

Because my parenting is based off of consequences that work for me I never need to get upset or angry at him for not obeying. This brings parenting to a whole new level of joy for me.

  1. Ask for what you want, not what you don’t want; focus on what you want to create, not the problem. We all follow the image placed in our brains….so place a positive one. Have you ever seen the movie The Secret? They talk about this a lot in there.
  2. Do what your heart says to do, not what your mind says to do. Often my son says he has to follow the energy maze from his head that goes down to his heart. When he is in the process of getting into his heart he literally says he is ‘in the maze’. As we get older this maze usually gets more complicated. In fact, just the other day my son said to me, “Dad, when I was a baby the maze from my head to my heart was easy. It was a straight line. As I’m getting older, though, the maze is getting more curvy, and harder.”

We connect to our Angel’s, Inner Self, and the Divine daily and get guidance from them on what is to be done during the day. He knows it is OK to ask his Angel’s for help in getting what he wants in his life. I am very happy about this, as it has not been long I have been consciously using this help in my life, and it really does help!

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3 Responses to “Parenting My Child, and Being Parented by Life”

  1. Joseph Seal Says:

    The example we set for our children influences them far more than our words.

  2. TeenDad Says:

    I’m now 19 and experiencing being a dad. I must say although it feels good it’s still hard. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but to be honest, the hard part is having to balance time. My daughter is great and makes managing her never dreadful. -Teen dad

  3. Jimmy Says:

    Thanks for sharing, Theo.

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